Wednesday, June 10, 2026
 
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Mom you don't understand



By Balbir Ram


These days, we often read, hear and even see around us ourselves that the old parents in many families are being ignored, not paid due attention by their own ones. Whatever difficult the conditions are there, old parents-husband and wife-do manage a lot on their selves but once the husband leaves this world, wife or the mother feels isolated, is sen confined into the four walls of a room, unattended by the grown up children. A stage comes in her life when she has nothing but tears in eyes. Still she never utters a curse for his own children and always prays for their well being. A very popular saying takes rounds in mind which says- “Maa tab bhi roti thi jab beta khaana nahin khaata tha aur maa aaj bhi roti hai jab beta khaana nahin deta hai” ( mother had tears in eyes when little son in her lap did not eat and she has tears even today when his grown up son does not provide her food to eat ). After going through it several times, I understood what the person who has actually carved and written this message, want to convey.



A deep thought on the wordings of this message has a very informatic meaning. Yes, it is true that maa (the mother) is the first guru of a child. She is the only person on the earth who has been treated as next to God. There has been a number of films depicting the role and sacrifices of a mother. Hundreds of songs in Hindi and regional languages have been written by prominent writers in praise of mother who have kept her at very high position in the society. Even books have been written on the subject. The first word a child utters when he learns to speak is “Maa”. It is the respect to mother by God who puts first word as “maa” on tongue of a child. This shows even the God too has very high regards for maa- the mother. It is the mother, who throughout her life devotes her maximum time and energy for the child. She wakes up before child gets up and goes to bed after her child is slept.


With the passing of time, the same child for whom mother was everything in whole of the world, who was his teacher, guide, friend and most trusted individual, is seen maintaining some distance from her. He is grown up, well educated and settled, have respect in society, owns bungalow, leads luxurious life with her wife and children, feels mother to be burden on him. The second sentence of this message depicts the entirely changed face of the grown up child as it says “Aur maa aaj bhi roti hai jab beta roti nahin deta hai” means the same son, who is now grown up, earns his own, has own family, treats her mother as burden. He do not have time either to attend her or ensure whether she is getting her meals etc in time.


Although Indian ethos had been interwined in a culture of extended families, which in course of time reduced to joint families. Today it has come down to a concept of nucular family with only spouses and their children. This has, by and large, been influenced by the Western pattern of living, where old parents usually live away from their children or take refuse in Old Age Homes.



Yet there are some glaring instances where the sons / daughters sacrifice their personal and other pleasures for the sake of their parents and elderly ones. Probably, this is due to the fact that they realize that one day they too have to grow old and may have to face similar situations. But the trend is declining not only in the country but in this border state of Jammu and Kashmir as well. Grown up children forgets that it is the same mother who used to understand everything when we were not ale to speak even a single word and today when we are educated, can speak a lot, insult the same mother by saying-mom you do not undertstand. It is indeed height of insult to mother.


One wonders, whom to blame for this -the modern education, declining religiious and moral values or growing influence of Westernism.

If there is anything else, the writer would be pleased to get educated by any valuable comment from readers.


(Opinions expressed in write-ups/articles/Letters are the sole responsibility of the authors and they may not represent the Scoop News)


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